Forgiveness may not make sense, but, oh, how we need it.

Inside church, forgiveness is talked about every weekend. But, when you get outside the walls of church, the reality seems, at times, to be an unexplainable mystery, one that people have trouble grasping.

The latest celebrity messes up and Entertainment Tonight produces an exclusive on damage control and image repair. "Is this the end of the line?" "Will the fans forgive?" Spin-doctors twist words and write scripts designed to garner favor and that illusive declaration of "forgiveness."

You don't have to be a Christian to know that without forgiveness you are stuck. The festering wounds of betrayal and humiliation, the corrosiveness of disgrace and dishonor, and the unwillingness to turn loose of hoarded hurts, lingers long past the "sin."

How do you recover from bad choices and what could have been?

Forgiveness, but it's demanding and bewildering. In the end, it's a choice — an exacting and misunderstood course of action. Some, outside the faith, label it crazy, or even a symbol of "brain damage."

Jesus spoke often about forgiveness. It was and continues to be, a deal-breaker part of His Kingdom:

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven" (Luke 6:37 NIV).

This forgiveness is not just limited to the public failures and private indiscretions; it reaches down to all the "minor" installments that have been stacked away in our pain bank.

As I see it, there are two dangerous forgiveness myths that need to be busted:

• Forgiveness takes away the consequences. Get that out of your head.
• Forgiveness has to be earned. Forgiveness means you turn loose of this mess regardless of what the other person wants, or does.

Three things happen when a Christian forgives:

1. God is honored.
2. Grace is experienced.
3. Brokenness is healed.

You CAN be a forgiving person, because God has given you the power. You can forgive someone else because God has forgiven you. He has shown you the way. When you choose to refuse to hurt the person who has hurt you, you write a story of grace over a bottomless pit of festering pain. And, your choice not only releases the person who has wronged you, but it unleashes the best in you.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).